Chapter 1

At the age of 25 and 3 months, I am free again. Not free in the spiritual or empirical sense, as some might liberate themselves from oppression or injustice or even an addiction. No,the freedom that I am speaking of is of the basic and primal nature. You see in the past 6 months, I lost my first true love and a job that I thoroughly enjoyed. Luckily not on the same day. These two elements were the framework of which I built my dreams, hopes and plans for the next step of my life. The later half of my twenties. Then suddenly, I wake up once lustrous morning and these pillars no longer exist. It is was one of the moments that you fully don't realize until it has already past. Much how you spend weeks of a cold spring begging for the start of the summer and sudden one morning you realize you have been wearing flip flops and shorts for two weeks. If you have never lost a job before, it is a extremely humbling experience. One of those experiences that forces you to face insecurities and fears you never even knew you had. Anyway, I have rebuilt this part in my life and I won't be out interviewing and sending resumes anytime soon. Bouncing back from the end of my relationship has not been as easy.

Over the past few months, I have been struggling to find a way to explain my current feelings to my best friends and family. There has been times after a few beers or even a Cuban cigar,that i felt like I had nailed it! However, I found myself once again confused at the end of the conversation. Maybe this just shows that I don't even fully understand the depth and complexity of my current emotional state. I am sure my close friends would probably say that I spent too much time trying to "understand" my emotional state. Well as it has happened to me many other times in my life, I found clarity in the words of another. One of those moments where you say " Damn, that is exactly what I have been trying to put to words for 2 months and he even spelled imaginary correctly."
Well the savior of clarity this time proved to be a booked adeptly named " The things I learned from the women who dumped me". Yes, I know what you are saying. Wow, Colin next you are going to tell us that you shockingly learned how to make almond encrusted salmon by opening a cookbook. Well, at least hear my out. I had heard about this book about 7 months ago and at the time thought it was a clever title and the fact that it was complied by the creator of the Daily Show only strengthened its case to make my reading list. The premise of the book was to have a group of writers, comedians and musicians briefly reflected about the hard learned lessons that came from their failed relationships(particular ones where they were the dumped.. and not the dumper). The finished work is a hodgepodge of vastly different stories and even a cartoon or two. As a whole I found the book to be a slight disappointment. Full of more misses than hits. A few of the writers lost the heart of their stories during their endless attempts to be witty and funny. However, the handful of stories that worked were truly moving and quite relative pieces of writing. I would cautiously recommend the book to anyone in their twenties, but would be quick to highlight the specific writers that stood out from the pack. Now to the fore mentioned story. It was written by Damien Nash Jr. who is the lead singer of the band Ok Go of treadmill fame. In his brief story titled, A Dog is no a reason to stay together, he outlines the course and eventual end of a relationship with a woman named blank. The details of his story are better left told by him, but in one of the last paragraphs he sums up the story with these lines:

" So I just lay there and let it all go; the last traces of teamwork finally fizzled out. The saddest thing, that night, wasn't the loss, it was the thought that there would someday be others;other dogs, other boyfriends, other girlfriends; that all of our diligent future -building would inevitably be undone by real people in the real future. We all want to believe that the people who dump us will regret it someday, but I knew that it wasn't true; it was over, and I would be replaced"

Damn. That is what I have been trying to put to word over the past two months. The perfect mix of happiness and sorrow. Closure and attachment. Reflection and Growth.All packaged in the realization that for time it was just you and her... but deep down you know you will replace her and she will replace you. Thank you Damien Nash Jr.

Here is the Link to the book.